I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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