I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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