bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
