Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
NoShamevember. You game?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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