She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize