I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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