My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize