did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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