Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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