accomplished twins. life is a go
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
