bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
