does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Someone shattered a urinal.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
