I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
