Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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