Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
