Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't deserve a penis
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
