This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said her name was "party"
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
