you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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