the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
