she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Randomize
