Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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