just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
