He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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