Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
