It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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