Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
