fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
