OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
