my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
