she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
