I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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