One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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