I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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