You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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