I'm jealous of your bromance
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
