I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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