Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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