It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
