I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
