Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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