why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
