How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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