Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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