I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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