It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
