ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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