Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
