What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
