Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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