If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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