Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize