Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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