there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
