Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
