u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
