no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
