i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
