like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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