We won't sleep together?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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