saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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