just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
