put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
