Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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