Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
