She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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