"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
