ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
