Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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