yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
