know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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