are you still at the devil's house?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
